Comfortable Disorientation

Lost for words

I want to write something about Celebrity Big Brother. But really have no idea what to say.

I'm watching Dermott O'Leary, Paul Morely and Brian Dowling discus how the bollywood actress, the WAG, the reality-TV-made-multi-millionairess and the ex-manufactured-popstar are creating international uproar and  putting the issue of British tolerance for racism on the political agenda.  It feels somewhat significant, but I can't get my head round it (yet).

So what's the verdict?

Did This Life: 10 Years On live up to hopes or do we wish they had never gone back to a near perfect thing? I haven't fully made my mind up yet. I guess I was always going to have mixed feelings about it. The balance between keeping characters true to themselves whilst being recognisable reflections of what it means to be a thirtysomething today AND interesting enough to make TV about was always going to be a tough one.

What I liked:

• I'm glad they didn't spend too long going back over the past and were more focused on their lives here and now
• The best bits all came in the first half with the verbal sparring between the different characters. I liked the career/motherhood dilema being acted out between Milly and Anna; the way the friendship between Miles and Egg had developed with a competitive/comparative edge; Warren as a lifecoach with a armour of psychological strategies and focus on other people's issues instead of his own. Yes, the 'issues' were all a little contrived and self conscious, but I can forgive that - in fact I think it's right that they were
• The whole autobiographical book and documentary plot device - the idea of throwing Claire, the film-maker in as someone from the generation below was a nice touch too
• The way as things got heated the characters sounded more and more like their younger selves

The bits I was less keen on

• Miles as super-successful hotel magnate. It was just too handy as a plot device and never felt real. It took me a while to recognise the character of Miles too - perhaps because I've believed Jack Davenport in other roles (whereas Andrew Lincoln is Egg to me no matter who he plays), perhaps Miles would be the kind of person to change his character to fit his circumstances - I don't know.
• The second half where more stuff happened. The Anna/Miles resolution was inevitable, but I felt disappointed by it

About as good as it could be I think - what about you?

This Life - 10 years on

I woke up today thinking about This Life. I am very excited about the Ten Years On programme which is going to air on the 2nd January. Though it's a "really hope it's as good as I want it to be, mustn't get too excited" kind of anticipation. I'm not alone, the BBC's press office reckon they've "never seen such rampant interest in a show" and there have been a several articles whipping up the excitement and providing glimpses of what we can expect (like these from the Telegraph and Guardian).

Loads has been said about how groundbreaking and zeitgeisty the show was, but my love of This Life is deeply personal. When I think about it or watch a re-run episode, it's like looking back on a fondly remembered ex-boyfriend, it makes me revisit my younger self. The characters and their stories reflected my own aspirations, dilemmas and issues. Seeing them acted out in a way that was so fresh, was simply thrilling. These were people like me, just starting out, trying to work out a way to live (with themselves and with each other).

I don't think I've ever cared so much about TV characters. They were just so wonderfully, perfectly real. Egg and Milly were like flip sides of my psyche: Milly the part that believes there's a clear path, that by working hard, doing the right thing, reading the right books I will achieve my goals; Egg was the nagging doubt, the feeling that this kind of ambition is all a bit hollow, that there must be an easier, more interesting, more fulfilling way. Miles was an arse, but seeing him battling his conscience made him an attractive and appealing arse - his self doubt was always peeking through his arrogance and this made us love him. Anna was everything I wanted to be - complicated, clever, sexy, confident, daring, provocative. She was simply amazing.

I can't wait to catch up with them again, to find out how they're dealing with the issues that this life is throwing at us today. I so hope I'm not disappointed, I'm risking a lot by daring to hope it will be great. The premise for them reconnecting (via a documentary about Egg's autobigraphical book) is genius, absolutely perfect. I'm not wanting or expecting resolutions, I want to see older, wiser reflections; complicated and messy emotions; and new challenges. They wouldn't make it unless they could do it well. Would they?