I didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year. With a baby on the way, it seemed a forgone conclusion that enough change was going to occur of its own accord. It hardly seems fair then, that I've experienced the failure of a resolution I'd only half-realised I'd made.
I've developed a pregnancy complication, obstetric cholestasis, a problem with my liver which has left me extremely itchy and puts the baby at risk. However, I'm being well looked after by clever medical types and the itching is just about under control and the risk is being eliminated by an earlier than scheduled appearance of the baby.
The resolution I hadn't been aware of making was to remain drug-free throughout pregnancy. How stoic I thought I was being when I refused (the perfectly safe) paracetamol when I had slight headache a few months ago! I wouldn't have been so smug if I could have seen into the future and watched as I gleefully left the hospital carrying a carrier bag-full of tablets and potions that promised to help control the itching and give me some sleep.
Perhaps the learning here is that resolutions that haven't been fully considered are destined to be half-hearted? Or maybe that resolutions tend to be sweepingly idealistic and don't take into account the fact that life is lived moment-to-moment? Either way, I don't feel particularly bad about it. It's one annual ritual done and dusted at least.
Recent Comments